This past week, I began working at Chili's as a real live server, tips and all. It's been daunting to learn the ins and outs pertaining to serving food, and I have gained a ton of respect for people who do this as a career. One of the positive things about working at Chili's is that I'm constantly working alongside people of different races, ages, backgrounds, and beliefs. One thing about which I feel strongly is that God has brought me to Chili's to form relationships with my co-workers and show them the gospel (the good news) of what He has done in my life. My goal is to offer the hope of Jesus Christ to my new friend who is working her second shift of the day with a growing baby inside of her and a relationship with her boyfriend falling apart. Working at Chili's isn't going to be easy, but I feel as if my purpose for being there is more than to simply bring people their Baby Back Ribs.
So, as a brand new server, my second day on the floor was yesterday (Sunday afternoon). If you've been a server before, you most likely don't fight the others over this shift because it's lunchtime, and the church people are hungry. Yesterday was my first experience on the "other side". My whole life, I've been one of the "church people"...I have been the one being seated, and now I am the one doing the seating. It's funny how much we can learn when we are given a different point of view.
And sadly, the view I had yesterday wasn't very encouraging. I served food to people who resisted making eye contact with me. My co-worker was rudely spoken to by a woman wearing a clerical collar simply because she asked for their drink orders before the last person in their group got to the restaurant. Unfortunately, the consensus on Sunday afternoons amongst the restaurant staff is that "church people" are not very nice or thoughtful or much like Jesus.
So here comes my question.
Are we representing Jesus well?
Because if you wear a Christian t-shirt, drive with a fish on the back of your car, pray before a meal, or even go to a restaurant (in the Bible Belt) at 12:30pm on a Sunday, people will most likely assume that you're a believer in Christ. You can't blame them for assuming that...in fact, isn't that what you wanted when you stuck that "Warning: In case of rapture, this car will be unmanned" bumper sticker on the back of your car? People know. My co-workers know that they are serving "Christians" on Sunday afternoons, and unfortunately, that comes with negative connotations.
So how are we representing Jesus?
Are you staring down the person who just cut you off as you quickly pass them, revealing your Baptist University decal? Are you tipping your waiter well and thanking them personally for taking care of you? Are you making eye contact with your barista and asking her what her name is so that you can begin building a friendship with her, or do you simply view her as someone who is there to take your money and give you coffee in exchange.
Am I saying that all Christians are terrible at treating people with the love of Christ? Absolutely not. Am I saying that I'm perfect at representing God to the world around me? Most definitely not. I have so much to learn. In fact, my mind is flooded with memories of the times I've been short with a cashier because I'm tired or because she's moving slower than my schedule permits. I have been so selfish with how I treat other people, and that's why this challenge is for me too. All I am saying is that what we do makes a difference. How we treat people makes a difference. Our actions have the potential to turn someone completely off to the thought of having a relationship with God. On the other hand, we have the chance to live like Jesus and represent him in a way that draws people in to see more of the Love that has captured our hearts and is changing us every day to be more like Him.
So may we be challenged to be ambassadors of Christ, representing Him well everywhere we go, despite our current attitude, despite how our day is going, and despite how we are treated. And may we love our waiters, cashiers, baristas, friends, enemies, strangers with the love He has so graciously poured out on us.
Monday, September 26, 2011
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
"I Hate Goodbyes" -Lloyd Christmas in Dumb and Dumber
Disclaimer: this is nothing new or profound...it's just my "I'm at Starbucks, and I don't have internet at home yet, so I should blog" musings.
With that said...
I figured it's only fitting to blog about change as I face this season of my life for 2 reasons: A. It's a season we all face at one time or another, and B. I have a TON of time on my hands since I'm unemployed for the time being. Hey, I might as well make good use of the time that's been given to me, right?
Change is hard.
The end.
Just kidding. haha...I crack myself up.
But seriously, change is really tough. I've shed many tears (I know you're not surprised) these past few weeks over the change that was about to take place and that is now taking place in my life. I've said goodbye to many people whom I dearly love and have said hello to a lot of unknowns. For five years, I've lived in a safe and loving environment called Brownwood, and God has truly blessed me in the relationships I've formed there. I will never be able to express my gratitude to the Lord for the people He placed in my life during my time there. I've made memories there that will never cease to bring a grin to my face. The great thing is that these relationships will not stop now that I've moved away, but I am confident that God will be faithful in growing them in His perfect way. I may not be able to see my friends as often or get to share in the experiences they share together, but I know that God is faithful...and that is really all I need to know.
Saying goodbye to someone I love is probably the hardest thing ever for me to do. I don't know why, but I hate letting go of the time I have with someone. But I've learned that it comes naturally in relationships. If you say hello to someone, it means that, at some point, you will be forced to say goodbye. I've also learned that saying goodbye is a healthy thing to do. I've never really understood the line in Jon Foreman's song that says, "If you love her, let her go." I'm actually still not sure if I understand it completely, but I do think of that line when I think about saying bye to someone. In a way, saying goodbye brings me to a place where I'm led to depend on God. Depending on people will never work because you will have to say goodbye to them at some point. Let me paint a picture for you because I'm not sure if this is making sense...
You can ask Matt if you don't believe me when I say that I hate saying goodbye. Long distance relationships are tough, and the end of each conversation is the worst, but it inevitably comes...and I'm terrible at being okay with that. lol. I try my hardest at putting it off, but he is always good at reminding me that sleep is a good thing, so I begrudgingly say goodbye and hang up the phone. And it's that moment after I've said bye that I'm reminded that God is still there. He is the only One that we don't have to say goodbye to! We can be in constant contact with Him...how cool is that?! But this isn't something we've earned...it's something we've been given! When Jesus died, He tore the veil that separated us and God, and Jesus became the Mediator between us and the Father. What this means is that even though we must say goodbye to people we love, Jesus has made it to where we never have to say goodbye to the Father. He is ever present and ever loving.
And that's what I hold onto during this time of change in my life. I know that He will provide new friends and new experiences (not to replace the old by any means), and I will adjust to living in a new place...but the most comforting thing is that through every change in our lives, big and small, we can look to the One who is UNchanging. He is faithful.
Praise God for being unchangeable in our times of change.
With that said...
I figured it's only fitting to blog about change as I face this season of my life for 2 reasons: A. It's a season we all face at one time or another, and B. I have a TON of time on my hands since I'm unemployed for the time being. Hey, I might as well make good use of the time that's been given to me, right?
Change is hard.
The end.
Just kidding. haha...I crack myself up.
But seriously, change is really tough. I've shed many tears (I know you're not surprised) these past few weeks over the change that was about to take place and that is now taking place in my life. I've said goodbye to many people whom I dearly love and have said hello to a lot of unknowns. For five years, I've lived in a safe and loving environment called Brownwood, and God has truly blessed me in the relationships I've formed there. I will never be able to express my gratitude to the Lord for the people He placed in my life during my time there. I've made memories there that will never cease to bring a grin to my face. The great thing is that these relationships will not stop now that I've moved away, but I am confident that God will be faithful in growing them in His perfect way. I may not be able to see my friends as often or get to share in the experiences they share together, but I know that God is faithful...and that is really all I need to know.
Saying goodbye to someone I love is probably the hardest thing ever for me to do. I don't know why, but I hate letting go of the time I have with someone. But I've learned that it comes naturally in relationships. If you say hello to someone, it means that, at some point, you will be forced to say goodbye. I've also learned that saying goodbye is a healthy thing to do. I've never really understood the line in Jon Foreman's song that says, "If you love her, let her go." I'm actually still not sure if I understand it completely, but I do think of that line when I think about saying bye to someone. In a way, saying goodbye brings me to a place where I'm led to depend on God. Depending on people will never work because you will have to say goodbye to them at some point. Let me paint a picture for you because I'm not sure if this is making sense...
You can ask Matt if you don't believe me when I say that I hate saying goodbye. Long distance relationships are tough, and the end of each conversation is the worst, but it inevitably comes...and I'm terrible at being okay with that. lol. I try my hardest at putting it off, but he is always good at reminding me that sleep is a good thing, so I begrudgingly say goodbye and hang up the phone. And it's that moment after I've said bye that I'm reminded that God is still there. He is the only One that we don't have to say goodbye to! We can be in constant contact with Him...how cool is that?! But this isn't something we've earned...it's something we've been given! When Jesus died, He tore the veil that separated us and God, and Jesus became the Mediator between us and the Father. What this means is that even though we must say goodbye to people we love, Jesus has made it to where we never have to say goodbye to the Father. He is ever present and ever loving.
And that's what I hold onto during this time of change in my life. I know that He will provide new friends and new experiences (not to replace the old by any means), and I will adjust to living in a new place...but the most comforting thing is that through every change in our lives, big and small, we can look to the One who is UNchanging. He is faithful.
Praise God for being unchangeable in our times of change.
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Waiting...
Who has two thumbs and writes two blog posts in a week? Apparently this girl does.
It wasn't my plan to blog this morning, but as I journaled my thoughts on waiting, I thought, "This is good stuff." Thankfully, it's only good stuff because it's God stuff...not because I came up with it. I felt the Holy Spirit leading me to some really interesting and relevant ideas.
So now that I've probably built this blog up way too much, let me share with you some thoughts on waiting...
I was simply journaling and asking God to help me to wait in some areas of my life when I realized that waiting is a very interesting thing. Have you ever thought about it before? I feel like there are two very different ways that we wait. Here's the first scenario.
Waiting scenario #1: Picture a waiting room at a doctor's office or an automobile repair shop. You're sitting there with your terrible cup of coffee, holding a magazine full of articles you don't care about. When I'm in a waiting room, all I can think about is the thing for which I'm waiting. So you constantly look at the clock on the wall, and it seems that time is going as slowly as a motorized cart in a Nascar race. You picture all of the other wonderful places you'd rather be and all of the other wonderful things you'd rather be doing. And while you're sitting there with your coffee, looking at the clock, the nurse comes in and calls a name (btw, don't you hate it when they call a name that starts with the same letter as your name? "Ka...telyn" Dangit! I got all excited! Maybe that's just me). And as the person is led to the back, you think, "Hey! I got here before she did! Why does she get called back, but I'm still here reading a magazine article on how to feng shui my refrigerator? That's not fair!"
Does that sound familiar to you? Do you see how we do that in our own lives?
My next question, as I was journaling all of this, was, "So what does healthy waiting look like?" Thankfully, healthy waiting is ALL throughout Scripture...
And as I read these passages dealing with waiting, I noticed a trend which can be summed up in these three questions:
Where are your eyes?
Where is your heart/hope?
What are your hands and feet doing?
So let's look at question #1. Where are your eyes? Psalm 27:13-14 says,
"I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the LORD
in the land of the living!
Wait for the LORD;
be strong, and let your heart take courage;
wait for the LORD!"
While the Psalm writer waits on the Lord, he is looking upon the goodness of the Lord. So often, we choose to look at our watches in the waiting room and in real life. We choose to look at all of the other people who are getting to do the things we want to do. In the past two years, I've probably had 20 friends get married. How easy it is for me to say, "That's not fair!" My eyes are on other people. Or we choose to close our eyes and imagine what life would be like if we were already doing the things we're waiting to do. In all of these scenarios, our eyes are taken off of Christ.
But when we look upon the beauty and the goodness of the Lord, we are not discontent with what we have. Rather, we are completely content to gaze upon our Creator! You want beauty? He IS beauty. You want life? He IS life. You want love? He IS love. Catching on?
Question #2: Where is your heart/hope? Psalm 62:5-7 says,
"For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence,
for my hope is from him.
He only is my rock and my salvation,
my fortress; I shall not be shaken.
On God rests my salvation and my glory;
my mighty rock, my refuge is God."
Does your hope rest in getting what you want? Do you put your hope in a relationship with someone or being accepted by people? Have you devoted your heart to that one person, job, car, salary, event? If so, my next question is have you been fulfilled by those things? I can answer that for you. No, you haven't. The ONLY thing that will ever satisfy is the living and triune God of the universe. If our hope is in anything BUT Him, we will be utterly disappointed. People will (not might) fail us. They either lie, leave, or pass away. Things will fail us. Fame will fail us. Jobs will fail us. God is everlasting. Let us put our hope in Him! (Lamentations 3:25-26 is another good passage for this question)
Question #3: What are your hands and feet doing? You can't write a blog on waiting without including Isaiah 40:30-31:
"Even youths shall faint and be weary,
and young men shall fall exhausted;
but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength;
they shall mount up with wings like eagles;
they shall run and not be weary;
they shall walk and not faint."
If we are simply sitting in our waiting room, waiting for God to do something amazing for us, we have no need to be strengthened, really. When we look at this passage in Isaiah, we see that the Lord gives strength to those who run and walk. So often, we have this idea that waiting equals sitting. NO! Waiting includes DOING! God calls us to serve Him and others while we wait. Are you waiting for your dream job? Great! Serve Him by doing your current job well! Are you waiting for a relationship? Great! Serve Him by building relationships He's already given you and seeking to build relationships with those who might not feel loved at all! Don't sit. RUN! It is at that moment when God gives us the strength we need to wait.
So Waiting scenario #2: We fix our eyes on Jesus, we put our hope in Him, and we get up, stretch our legs, and run the race He's called us to run (1 Corinthians 9:24-27).
Is it easy? No. Is it painful? Yes. But is it worth it? Absolutely.
May we wait faithfully for the Lord as He has waited faithfully for us.
It wasn't my plan to blog this morning, but as I journaled my thoughts on waiting, I thought, "This is good stuff." Thankfully, it's only good stuff because it's God stuff...not because I came up with it. I felt the Holy Spirit leading me to some really interesting and relevant ideas.
So now that I've probably built this blog up way too much, let me share with you some thoughts on waiting...
I was simply journaling and asking God to help me to wait in some areas of my life when I realized that waiting is a very interesting thing. Have you ever thought about it before? I feel like there are two very different ways that we wait. Here's the first scenario.
Waiting scenario #1: Picture a waiting room at a doctor's office or an automobile repair shop. You're sitting there with your terrible cup of coffee, holding a magazine full of articles you don't care about. When I'm in a waiting room, all I can think about is the thing for which I'm waiting. So you constantly look at the clock on the wall, and it seems that time is going as slowly as a motorized cart in a Nascar race. You picture all of the other wonderful places you'd rather be and all of the other wonderful things you'd rather be doing. And while you're sitting there with your coffee, looking at the clock, the nurse comes in and calls a name (btw, don't you hate it when they call a name that starts with the same letter as your name? "Ka...telyn" Dangit! I got all excited! Maybe that's just me). And as the person is led to the back, you think, "Hey! I got here before she did! Why does she get called back, but I'm still here reading a magazine article on how to feng shui my refrigerator? That's not fair!"
Does that sound familiar to you? Do you see how we do that in our own lives?
My next question, as I was journaling all of this, was, "So what does healthy waiting look like?" Thankfully, healthy waiting is ALL throughout Scripture...
And as I read these passages dealing with waiting, I noticed a trend which can be summed up in these three questions:
Where are your eyes?
Where is your heart/hope?
What are your hands and feet doing?
So let's look at question #1. Where are your eyes? Psalm 27:13-14 says,
"I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the LORD
in the land of the living!
Wait for the LORD;
be strong, and let your heart take courage;
wait for the LORD!"
While the Psalm writer waits on the Lord, he is looking upon the goodness of the Lord. So often, we choose to look at our watches in the waiting room and in real life. We choose to look at all of the other people who are getting to do the things we want to do. In the past two years, I've probably had 20 friends get married. How easy it is for me to say, "That's not fair!" My eyes are on other people. Or we choose to close our eyes and imagine what life would be like if we were already doing the things we're waiting to do. In all of these scenarios, our eyes are taken off of Christ.
But when we look upon the beauty and the goodness of the Lord, we are not discontent with what we have. Rather, we are completely content to gaze upon our Creator! You want beauty? He IS beauty. You want life? He IS life. You want love? He IS love. Catching on?
Question #2: Where is your heart/hope? Psalm 62:5-7 says,
"For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence,
for my hope is from him.
He only is my rock and my salvation,
my fortress; I shall not be shaken.
On God rests my salvation and my glory;
my mighty rock, my refuge is God."
Does your hope rest in getting what you want? Do you put your hope in a relationship with someone or being accepted by people? Have you devoted your heart to that one person, job, car, salary, event? If so, my next question is have you been fulfilled by those things? I can answer that for you. No, you haven't. The ONLY thing that will ever satisfy is the living and triune God of the universe. If our hope is in anything BUT Him, we will be utterly disappointed. People will (not might) fail us. They either lie, leave, or pass away. Things will fail us. Fame will fail us. Jobs will fail us. God is everlasting. Let us put our hope in Him! (Lamentations 3:25-26 is another good passage for this question)
Question #3: What are your hands and feet doing? You can't write a blog on waiting without including Isaiah 40:30-31:
"Even youths shall faint and be weary,
and young men shall fall exhausted;
but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength;
they shall mount up with wings like eagles;
they shall run and not be weary;
they shall walk and not faint."
If we are simply sitting in our waiting room, waiting for God to do something amazing for us, we have no need to be strengthened, really. When we look at this passage in Isaiah, we see that the Lord gives strength to those who run and walk. So often, we have this idea that waiting equals sitting. NO! Waiting includes DOING! God calls us to serve Him and others while we wait. Are you waiting for your dream job? Great! Serve Him by doing your current job well! Are you waiting for a relationship? Great! Serve Him by building relationships He's already given you and seeking to build relationships with those who might not feel loved at all! Don't sit. RUN! It is at that moment when God gives us the strength we need to wait.
So Waiting scenario #2: We fix our eyes on Jesus, we put our hope in Him, and we get up, stretch our legs, and run the race He's called us to run (1 Corinthians 9:24-27).
Is it easy? No. Is it painful? Yes. But is it worth it? Absolutely.
May we wait faithfully for the Lord as He has waited faithfully for us.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Imperfect
So this shouldn't be a long blog...these are just thoughts I had this morning that I thought I'd share since there might be some of you who feel the same way.
I have always felt this need to be perfect...and if I can't reach perfection, then I try to appear perfect to those around me. The hard part is that I'm not perfect...that tends to become an obstacle. lol. I could go on and on about my need for perfection, but I will leave it at that.
Well, this morning, I was showering...and typically, when I shower, I make it a point to pray. I tend to pray for my friends who might be dealing with something, family, etc. Well, this morning as I was praying, I realized that I was only doing it because I felt obligated. Like, if I didn't pray in the shower, God wouldn't be pleased with me and would love me less. I had this idea that if I went one day without praying for So and So, God would be disappointed in me, and I wouldn't get a gold star.
And you know what? I might not get a gold star.
But that doesn't matter.
At all.
While I was in the shower (mid-obligated prayer), it hit me that God doesn't want me to spout off these prayers because I have to. HE WANTS ME TO BE NEAR HIM. He doesn't want perfect, grammatically correct prayers recited to him. He wants His imperfect child to come to Him ready to be held and ready to be loved. At that moment, as I was putting my Dove body wash on my turquoise lufa, I realized that God loves me JUST AS I AM.
I know what you're thinking right now.
"Katie, this is VBS crap. You learned this when you were like 7. You've sung a million songs about this very concept."
My answer to that is, "I know." But sometimes you have moments when God says, "Get it?" and you dumbfoundedly (I just made up a word) nod your head with assurance that you are loved.
So what are the "shower" moments in your life? Where do you feel the need to be perfect in front of others and/or in front of God. Are we praying because we should, or are we praying because we want to share our hearts with our Father who has gone out of His way (to say the least) to bring us to Him through Jesus Christ? Are we running around trying to earn our gold star like Martha (Luke 10:38-42), or are we sitting at the feet of Jesus because He's here with us? I feel like it's then when we are able to truly share with Him what is on our hearts including our requests for our friends, family, enemies, etc.
What are your thoughts?
I have always felt this need to be perfect...and if I can't reach perfection, then I try to appear perfect to those around me. The hard part is that I'm not perfect...that tends to become an obstacle. lol. I could go on and on about my need for perfection, but I will leave it at that.
Well, this morning, I was showering...and typically, when I shower, I make it a point to pray. I tend to pray for my friends who might be dealing with something, family, etc. Well, this morning as I was praying, I realized that I was only doing it because I felt obligated. Like, if I didn't pray in the shower, God wouldn't be pleased with me and would love me less. I had this idea that if I went one day without praying for So and So, God would be disappointed in me, and I wouldn't get a gold star.
And you know what? I might not get a gold star.
But that doesn't matter.
At all.
While I was in the shower (mid-obligated prayer), it hit me that God doesn't want me to spout off these prayers because I have to. HE WANTS ME TO BE NEAR HIM. He doesn't want perfect, grammatically correct prayers recited to him. He wants His imperfect child to come to Him ready to be held and ready to be loved. At that moment, as I was putting my Dove body wash on my turquoise lufa, I realized that God loves me JUST AS I AM.
I know what you're thinking right now.
"Katie, this is VBS crap. You learned this when you were like 7. You've sung a million songs about this very concept."
My answer to that is, "I know." But sometimes you have moments when God says, "Get it?" and you dumbfoundedly (I just made up a word) nod your head with assurance that you are loved.
So what are the "shower" moments in your life? Where do you feel the need to be perfect in front of others and/or in front of God. Are we praying because we should, or are we praying because we want to share our hearts with our Father who has gone out of His way (to say the least) to bring us to Him through Jesus Christ? Are we running around trying to earn our gold star like Martha (Luke 10:38-42), or are we sitting at the feet of Jesus because He's here with us? I feel like it's then when we are able to truly share with Him what is on our hearts including our requests for our friends, family, enemies, etc.
What are your thoughts?
Sunday, April 10, 2011
A Longing for Heaven
Well, with a loss of a brother in Christ comes a lot of different reactions and emotions. I'll try not to spend too much time in this post talking about all of the different things that come with loss, but I did want to outwardly process and express some of the things God has been doing in my calloused heart since our brother, Colton Burran, died a week ago.
I didn't know Colton super well. We had one class together freshman year in Dr. Bean's Psychology class. And one thing I've always thought about him was how inclusive he was. You see, Colton was the kind of guy who was voted Class Beau. He was well known and well loved in his fraternity, in his academics, and in social circles. His smile could change the atmosphere of a room. He was that kind of guy. And that kind of guy can either make things about himself or turn the focus from himself to the others in the room. Colton daily chose to do the latter. In class, he would not only say hi to those who were often overlooked, he would talk with them about their day. He would make them feel special in a very real way. What a blessing Christ was through him.
So you can imagine that losing a man of God like that at age 23 would be devastating. And it has been for so many. Last night, there was a memorial at a church here in town where his friends from college came from all over to celebrate his life here on earth and the life he's enjoying with Christ right now. We also came to grieve alongside his family. So, at this memorial was a group of Christ followers who were (and are) torn apart and broken over the loss of a friend, a son, a brother, an uncle, a fiance. What God did in our hearts last night is something I will not easily forget.
With separation, there is always grief. But there is not always hope. Hope is only present when God is present. With Colton, there was no doubt in that room that he was (and is) worshiping God while being completely surrounded and enveloped in His presence. That brings us hope. We were also able to hold onto the fact that though there is darkness now, the dawn is near. It's a new day. We sang a song last night that represents this hope so well. Some of the lyrics are included in these lines...
All is lost, find Him there.
After night, dawn is there.
After all falls apart, He repairs.
It's a new day. Everything will change. Things will never be the same.
In Christ, we have hope of His glory; hope of someday being in His presence. Yes, the Kingdom of God is HERE, now. We must live for Jesus today and not wait for the day our bodies die. Salvation is HERE! These are all true. But my focus and exhortation for this blog is for us to hope in the glory that is to come when we are with our brother, Colton, and all of the people we say goodbye to in this life, but more so the day we are standing in the presence of our Lord, our Rescuer, our Redeemer, our Prince.
That day will come, and we should long for it. Romans 8:23 says "And we believers also groan, even though we have the Holy Spirit within us as a foretaste of future glory, for we long for our bodies to be released from sin and suffering. We, too, wait with eager hope for the day when God will give us our full rights as his adopted children, including the new bodies he has promised us."
There is a puritan prayer in a book titled The Valley of Vision called "Earth and Heaven". Here are some beautiful words from that prayer:
"Here I can have the world,
there I shall have thee in Christ;
Here is a life of longing and prayer,
there is assurance without suspicion,
asking without refusal;
Here are gross comforts, more burden than benefit,
there is joy without sorrow,
comfort without suffering,
love without inconstancy,
rest without weariness."
The loss of Colton has led us as his friends and as followers of Christ to grieve but also to rejoice in our sufferings. Though we suffer now because of the separation that comes with death, we rejoice in the hope of someday worshiping our Living and Triune God alongside Colton in Heaven.
Glory to God, forever and ever. Amen.
I didn't know Colton super well. We had one class together freshman year in Dr. Bean's Psychology class. And one thing I've always thought about him was how inclusive he was. You see, Colton was the kind of guy who was voted Class Beau. He was well known and well loved in his fraternity, in his academics, and in social circles. His smile could change the atmosphere of a room. He was that kind of guy. And that kind of guy can either make things about himself or turn the focus from himself to the others in the room. Colton daily chose to do the latter. In class, he would not only say hi to those who were often overlooked, he would talk with them about their day. He would make them feel special in a very real way. What a blessing Christ was through him.
So you can imagine that losing a man of God like that at age 23 would be devastating. And it has been for so many. Last night, there was a memorial at a church here in town where his friends from college came from all over to celebrate his life here on earth and the life he's enjoying with Christ right now. We also came to grieve alongside his family. So, at this memorial was a group of Christ followers who were (and are) torn apart and broken over the loss of a friend, a son, a brother, an uncle, a fiance. What God did in our hearts last night is something I will not easily forget.
With separation, there is always grief. But there is not always hope. Hope is only present when God is present. With Colton, there was no doubt in that room that he was (and is) worshiping God while being completely surrounded and enveloped in His presence. That brings us hope. We were also able to hold onto the fact that though there is darkness now, the dawn is near. It's a new day. We sang a song last night that represents this hope so well. Some of the lyrics are included in these lines...
All is lost, find Him there.
After night, dawn is there.
After all falls apart, He repairs.
It's a new day. Everything will change. Things will never be the same.
In Christ, we have hope of His glory; hope of someday being in His presence. Yes, the Kingdom of God is HERE, now. We must live for Jesus today and not wait for the day our bodies die. Salvation is HERE! These are all true. But my focus and exhortation for this blog is for us to hope in the glory that is to come when we are with our brother, Colton, and all of the people we say goodbye to in this life, but more so the day we are standing in the presence of our Lord, our Rescuer, our Redeemer, our Prince.
That day will come, and we should long for it. Romans 8:23 says "And we believers also groan, even though we have the Holy Spirit within us as a foretaste of future glory, for we long for our bodies to be released from sin and suffering. We, too, wait with eager hope for the day when God will give us our full rights as his adopted children, including the new bodies he has promised us."
There is a puritan prayer in a book titled The Valley of Vision called "Earth and Heaven". Here are some beautiful words from that prayer:
"Here I can have the world,
there I shall have thee in Christ;
Here is a life of longing and prayer,
there is assurance without suspicion,
asking without refusal;
Here are gross comforts, more burden than benefit,
there is joy without sorrow,
comfort without suffering,
love without inconstancy,
rest without weariness."
The loss of Colton has led us as his friends and as followers of Christ to grieve but also to rejoice in our sufferings. Though we suffer now because of the separation that comes with death, we rejoice in the hope of someday worshiping our Living and Triune God alongside Colton in Heaven.
Glory to God, forever and ever. Amen.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Psalm 73
Nevertheless, I am continually with you;
you hold my right hand.
You guide me with your counsel,
and afterward you will receive me to glory.
Whom have I in heaven but you?
And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
For behold, those who are far from you shall perish;
you put an end to everyone who is unfaithful to you.
But for me it is good to be near God;
I have made the Lord GOD my refuge,
that I may tell of all your works.
(Psalm 73:23-28 ESV)
For more context, read all of Psalm 73...I just pasted the last part of it. How beautiful is this picture?! He guides us with His counsel and holds our right hand. I love the picture of our Father in heaven holding our right hand like a Dad holds his 3 year old's little hand. The child has no idea where the Father is leading him, but he doesn't really care, does he? What he cares about is the fact that he's being held by his Dad. There's a sense of overwhelming security in that sentence. He holds our right hand...He's leading us. And we rarely trust Him with that...doesn't that sound so strange? It's as if the 3 year old pulls his hand away and says, "Dad, are you SURE you want to go that way? Because I've been thinking about it, and this way seems more enjoyable." Paul uses a Greek word in Ephesians that means "poem" to describe who we are to God. We are his poem...so, once again, it'd be like a poem saying to its author, "I'm not sure you know what you're doing...Are you SURE that line is in Iambic Pentameter?" Or something like that.
"There is nothing on earth that I desire besides you." Nothing compares to Him. Most of us have probably said/sung something like that before. If you like David Crowder even a little bit, you've probably sung it many times..."There is no one like you, there has never ever been anyone like you." But what does that look like in our lives? If nothing compares to Him, then why do we idolize things? Why do I look in the mirror more times than I pray in a day? Why do I worry more than ask Him to grow me in faith (Phil. 4:6-7)? Why do I choose to watch an episode of How I Met Your Mother over reading about Him? It's because I can sing the words all I want but still not be changed. The truth is that we desire a LOT more things than God most of the time. But God has the power and the patience to help us change that little by little (and it doesn't happen overnight). Sanctification, homies! Tough word to understand...tough process to go through.
The sentence that gets me the most is this, "My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." We all fail...none of us is perfect. I may try REALLY hard to make you think I'm perfect, but I'm the farthest thing from it. I'm a whitewashed tomb full of unclean things (Matt. 23:27). But though I fall short, God is my strength. I think it's cool that the psalm writer says it this way. He says his flesh fails, but God is his portion. His heart fails, but God is the strength of his heart. God takes care of both of those shortcomings! He fills us to the point where we overflow! He is truly all we need.
Wow, God is good. My prayer is that God is speaking (now and continually) through His word straight to your heart these days. This passage really hit me yesterday, and I love those moments when all you can say is, "Wow." Being speechless isn't a bad thing...it's a good thing, actually. We talk too much (kind of like what I'm doing right now!). Psalm 46:10 says, "Be still, and know that I am God." Give Him a chance to speak to you. God is faithful.
Is there something in the above passage that speaks to you?
you hold my right hand.
You guide me with your counsel,
and afterward you will receive me to glory.
Whom have I in heaven but you?
And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
For behold, those who are far from you shall perish;
you put an end to everyone who is unfaithful to you.
But for me it is good to be near God;
I have made the Lord GOD my refuge,
that I may tell of all your works.
(Psalm 73:23-28 ESV)
For more context, read all of Psalm 73...I just pasted the last part of it. How beautiful is this picture?! He guides us with His counsel and holds our right hand. I love the picture of our Father in heaven holding our right hand like a Dad holds his 3 year old's little hand. The child has no idea where the Father is leading him, but he doesn't really care, does he? What he cares about is the fact that he's being held by his Dad. There's a sense of overwhelming security in that sentence. He holds our right hand...He's leading us. And we rarely trust Him with that...doesn't that sound so strange? It's as if the 3 year old pulls his hand away and says, "Dad, are you SURE you want to go that way? Because I've been thinking about it, and this way seems more enjoyable." Paul uses a Greek word in Ephesians that means "poem" to describe who we are to God. We are his poem...so, once again, it'd be like a poem saying to its author, "I'm not sure you know what you're doing...Are you SURE that line is in Iambic Pentameter?" Or something like that.
"There is nothing on earth that I desire besides you." Nothing compares to Him. Most of us have probably said/sung something like that before. If you like David Crowder even a little bit, you've probably sung it many times..."There is no one like you, there has never ever been anyone like you." But what does that look like in our lives? If nothing compares to Him, then why do we idolize things? Why do I look in the mirror more times than I pray in a day? Why do I worry more than ask Him to grow me in faith (Phil. 4:6-7)? Why do I choose to watch an episode of How I Met Your Mother over reading about Him? It's because I can sing the words all I want but still not be changed. The truth is that we desire a LOT more things than God most of the time. But God has the power and the patience to help us change that little by little (and it doesn't happen overnight). Sanctification, homies! Tough word to understand...tough process to go through.
The sentence that gets me the most is this, "My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." We all fail...none of us is perfect. I may try REALLY hard to make you think I'm perfect, but I'm the farthest thing from it. I'm a whitewashed tomb full of unclean things (Matt. 23:27). But though I fall short, God is my strength. I think it's cool that the psalm writer says it this way. He says his flesh fails, but God is his portion. His heart fails, but God is the strength of his heart. God takes care of both of those shortcomings! He fills us to the point where we overflow! He is truly all we need.
Wow, God is good. My prayer is that God is speaking (now and continually) through His word straight to your heart these days. This passage really hit me yesterday, and I love those moments when all you can say is, "Wow." Being speechless isn't a bad thing...it's a good thing, actually. We talk too much (kind of like what I'm doing right now!). Psalm 46:10 says, "Be still, and know that I am God." Give Him a chance to speak to you. God is faithful.
Is there something in the above passage that speaks to you?
Sunday, January 16, 2011
First Ever Blog Entry (and maybe the last, depending on how it goes)
Okay, so I've been pretty negative about blogs for a while now. My friend (you know who you are) has been bugging me for a while to get me to write one, but I've resisted until now. I've always seen blogs as a very potentially selfish thing, where the writer writes these amazing and life-altering things in order to impress people. I still think that goes on today, but the reason I've decided to do this is because I came to the conclusion that it doesn't have to be that way. I follow 2 blogs, and they've been extremely helpful in my personal walk with God and in my journey as a worship leader.
So I came to the conclusion that I will write so that God can use the words He gives me however He wants. If something I'm struggling with can encourage someone else, this blog is worth it. But if it turns into a Katie show, it will end. Katie shows never really end well...because God isn't glorified through them.
Anyway, so that is my pre-blog disclaimer, I guess. My prayer is that God will teach us (you as the reader and me as the writer) through this whole...blog...thing.
So I was driving to drop my best friend, Beka, off at her car after having lunch with some friends (Salmon Tempura Roll...mmm), and we were talking about how living in Brownwood has been a tough journey. She's lived here since graduating in May of 2008, and I've lived here since graduating in May of 2010. All of the sudden, I had this thought which came out as, "I'm tired of people leaving me." We talked about how living in Brownwood post-grad is tough because most of your college friends move away and begin exciting jobs and marriages and so on, and we are...still here. Homecoming kind of loses it's excitement when you're not the one coming home. It's more like Homestaying. The only thing exciting about it is that all of your long lost friends come into town.
I have these moments I affectionately call pity parties when I just want to feel sorry for myself and become overwhelmed with how lonely or frustrated I feel with the position in which God has me. Most of my college friends are gone, and I don't get to talk to them often at all, my roommate just got married and moved away, I've been called to a position in our church that I never thought I'd be in, and the list goes on (that's why it's called a pity party). So the question I finally get to is, "Why is everyone leaving me? And why do things have to change??" And the word "crap" is probably in there somewhere...I just really like that word. Oh, and by the way, they're not leaving ME...they're just leaving. Why do I have to make it about me so often? Yuck.
Well, God had an answer for me, and if you feel like you're in the same boat, He has an answer for you. While everything is changing around you, while your friends are moving on to the things God has for them, while loved ones are dying and jobs are ending, while nothing is stable, God is our stability. Can I say that again? Of course I can, it's my blog. :) GOD IS OUR STABILITY. He is ALWAYS there. He does not move away. He never leaves us...we leave Him. I don't think Isaiah 40 can ever be overused. Isaiah 40:28 says:
28Have you not known? Have you not heard?The LORD is(A) the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He does not faint or grow weary;
(B) his understanding is unsearchable.
God is everlasting, and He is enough. That is all I need to hear to be comforted. May we all find comfort in the fact that God is with us always, and may we share that with those around us who feel abandoned and alone.
So I came to the conclusion that I will write so that God can use the words He gives me however He wants. If something I'm struggling with can encourage someone else, this blog is worth it. But if it turns into a Katie show, it will end. Katie shows never really end well...because God isn't glorified through them.
Anyway, so that is my pre-blog disclaimer, I guess. My prayer is that God will teach us (you as the reader and me as the writer) through this whole...blog...thing.
So I was driving to drop my best friend, Beka, off at her car after having lunch with some friends (Salmon Tempura Roll...mmm), and we were talking about how living in Brownwood has been a tough journey. She's lived here since graduating in May of 2008, and I've lived here since graduating in May of 2010. All of the sudden, I had this thought which came out as, "I'm tired of people leaving me." We talked about how living in Brownwood post-grad is tough because most of your college friends move away and begin exciting jobs and marriages and so on, and we are...still here. Homecoming kind of loses it's excitement when you're not the one coming home. It's more like Homestaying. The only thing exciting about it is that all of your long lost friends come into town.
I have these moments I affectionately call pity parties when I just want to feel sorry for myself and become overwhelmed with how lonely or frustrated I feel with the position in which God has me. Most of my college friends are gone, and I don't get to talk to them often at all, my roommate just got married and moved away, I've been called to a position in our church that I never thought I'd be in, and the list goes on (that's why it's called a pity party). So the question I finally get to is, "Why is everyone leaving me? And why do things have to change??" And the word "crap" is probably in there somewhere...I just really like that word. Oh, and by the way, they're not leaving ME...they're just leaving. Why do I have to make it about me so often? Yuck.
Well, God had an answer for me, and if you feel like you're in the same boat, He has an answer for you. While everything is changing around you, while your friends are moving on to the things God has for them, while loved ones are dying and jobs are ending, while nothing is stable, God is our stability. Can I say that again? Of course I can, it's my blog. :) GOD IS OUR STABILITY. He is ALWAYS there. He does not move away. He never leaves us...we leave Him. I don't think Isaiah 40 can ever be overused. Isaiah 40:28 says:
28Have you not known? Have you not heard?The LORD is(A) the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He does not faint or grow weary;
(B) his understanding is unsearchable.
God is everlasting, and He is enough. That is all I need to hear to be comforted. May we all find comfort in the fact that God is with us always, and may we share that with those around us who feel abandoned and alone.
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