Okay, so I've been pretty negative about blogs for a while now. My friend (you know who you are) has been bugging me for a while to get me to write one, but I've resisted until now. I've always seen blogs as a very potentially selfish thing, where the writer writes these amazing and life-altering things in order to impress people. I still think that goes on today, but the reason I've decided to do this is because I came to the conclusion that it doesn't have to be that way. I follow 2 blogs, and they've been extremely helpful in my personal walk with God and in my journey as a worship leader.
So I came to the conclusion that I will write so that God can use the words He gives me however He wants. If something I'm struggling with can encourage someone else, this blog is worth it. But if it turns into a Katie show, it will end. Katie shows never really end well...because God isn't glorified through them.
Anyway, so that is my pre-blog disclaimer, I guess. My prayer is that God will teach us (you as the reader and me as the writer) through this whole...blog...thing.
So I was driving to drop my best friend, Beka, off at her car after having lunch with some friends (Salmon Tempura Roll...mmm), and we were talking about how living in Brownwood has been a tough journey. She's lived here since graduating in May of 2008, and I've lived here since graduating in May of 2010. All of the sudden, I had this thought which came out as, "I'm tired of people leaving me." We talked about how living in Brownwood post-grad is tough because most of your college friends move away and begin exciting jobs and marriages and so on, and we are...still here. Homecoming kind of loses it's excitement when you're not the one coming home. It's more like Homestaying. The only thing exciting about it is that all of your long lost friends come into town.
I have these moments I affectionately call pity parties when I just want to feel sorry for myself and become overwhelmed with how lonely or frustrated I feel with the position in which God has me. Most of my college friends are gone, and I don't get to talk to them often at all, my roommate just got married and moved away, I've been called to a position in our church that I never thought I'd be in, and the list goes on (that's why it's called a pity party). So the question I finally get to is, "Why is everyone leaving me? And why do things have to change??" And the word "crap" is probably in there somewhere...I just really like that word. Oh, and by the way, they're not leaving ME...they're just leaving. Why do I have to make it about me so often? Yuck.
Well, God had an answer for me, and if you feel like you're in the same boat, He has an answer for you. While everything is changing around you, while your friends are moving on to the things God has for them, while loved ones are dying and jobs are ending, while nothing is stable, God is our stability. Can I say that again? Of course I can, it's my blog. :) GOD IS OUR STABILITY. He is ALWAYS there. He does not move away. He never leaves us...we leave Him. I don't think Isaiah 40 can ever be overused. Isaiah 40:28 says:
28Have you not known? Have you not heard?The LORD is(A) the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He does not faint or grow weary;
(B) his understanding is unsearchable.
God is everlasting, and He is enough. That is all I need to hear to be comforted. May we all find comfort in the fact that God is with us always, and may we share that with those around us who feel abandoned and alone.
All the cool people were replying on your Facebook post, so I'll talk here. :-)
ReplyDeleteYep, I know the feeling of having friend after friend go on to bigger and better. Back in high school, I was always hanging out with the older crowd and each year, I would watch my friends graduate and move on to college or the military or vocational school. By my senior year, I was the only guy in our youth group. It wasn't fun to not have any peers that I could call "my bros." You know, accountability partners, people you could count on in a tough time.
Coming to HPU was a great relief: meeting new people and seeing people from high school who came here before me. There are so many great people to get to know.
But as I am finishing up my undergrad studies, I find myself feeling the same feelings as back in high school. People who I counted on as my close friends were disappearing quickly. It's becoming harder and harder to maintain the friendships that I've made these last few years.
Fortunately, the people who really matter; the people who I've shared good times and bad with; the people who really care about and love others, they're making the effort to stay in touch. It's expensive (gas money for travelling, cell phone minutes, the extra time and effort) but it's totally worth it.
Next weekend I am travelling to see friends in DFW who are in their post-HPU life. Weekend after that I'm heading to San Antonio to see other friends. Yeah, it's time consuming and expensive, but it's great to continue to invest in the lives of my brothers and sisters in Christ and to keep encouraging them.
using google blogging. good choice. to be an even lazier blogger you can set it up where you email your post to a certain address and it appears on your blog without ever having to log on or think about blogging. Like writing an email to the world.
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