Well, with a loss of a brother in Christ comes a lot of different reactions and emotions. I'll try not to spend too much time in this post talking about all of the different things that come with loss, but I did want to outwardly process and express some of the things God has been doing in my calloused heart since our brother, Colton Burran, died a week ago.
I didn't know Colton super well. We had one class together freshman year in Dr. Bean's Psychology class. And one thing I've always thought about him was how inclusive he was. You see, Colton was the kind of guy who was voted Class Beau. He was well known and well loved in his fraternity, in his academics, and in social circles. His smile could change the atmosphere of a room. He was that kind of guy. And that kind of guy can either make things about himself or turn the focus from himself to the others in the room. Colton daily chose to do the latter. In class, he would not only say hi to those who were often overlooked, he would talk with them about their day. He would make them feel special in a very real way. What a blessing Christ was through him.
So you can imagine that losing a man of God like that at age 23 would be devastating. And it has been for so many. Last night, there was a memorial at a church here in town where his friends from college came from all over to celebrate his life here on earth and the life he's enjoying with Christ right now. We also came to grieve alongside his family. So, at this memorial was a group of Christ followers who were (and are) torn apart and broken over the loss of a friend, a son, a brother, an uncle, a fiance. What God did in our hearts last night is something I will not easily forget.
With separation, there is always grief. But there is not always hope. Hope is only present when God is present. With Colton, there was no doubt in that room that he was (and is) worshiping God while being completely surrounded and enveloped in His presence. That brings us hope. We were also able to hold onto the fact that though there is darkness now, the dawn is near. It's a new day. We sang a song last night that represents this hope so well. Some of the lyrics are included in these lines...
All is lost, find Him there.
After night, dawn is there.
After all falls apart, He repairs.
It's a new day. Everything will change. Things will never be the same.
In Christ, we have hope of His glory; hope of someday being in His presence. Yes, the Kingdom of God is HERE, now. We must live for Jesus today and not wait for the day our bodies die. Salvation is HERE! These are all true. But my focus and exhortation for this blog is for us to hope in the glory that is to come when we are with our brother, Colton, and all of the people we say goodbye to in this life, but more so the day we are standing in the presence of our Lord, our Rescuer, our Redeemer, our Prince.
That day will come, and we should long for it. Romans 8:23 says "And we believers also groan, even though we have the Holy Spirit within us as a foretaste of future glory, for we long for our bodies to be released from sin and suffering. We, too, wait with eager hope for the day when God will give us our full rights as his adopted children, including the new bodies he has promised us."
There is a puritan prayer in a book titled The Valley of Vision called "Earth and Heaven". Here are some beautiful words from that prayer:
"Here I can have the world,
there I shall have thee in Christ;
Here is a life of longing and prayer,
there is assurance without suspicion,
asking without refusal;
Here are gross comforts, more burden than benefit,
there is joy without sorrow,
comfort without suffering,
love without inconstancy,
rest without weariness."
The loss of Colton has led us as his friends and as followers of Christ to grieve but also to rejoice in our sufferings. Though we suffer now because of the separation that comes with death, we rejoice in the hope of someday worshiping our Living and Triune God alongside Colton in Heaven.
Glory to God, forever and ever. Amen.
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Psalm 73
Nevertheless, I am continually with you;
you hold my right hand.
You guide me with your counsel,
and afterward you will receive me to glory.
Whom have I in heaven but you?
And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
For behold, those who are far from you shall perish;
you put an end to everyone who is unfaithful to you.
But for me it is good to be near God;
I have made the Lord GOD my refuge,
that I may tell of all your works.
(Psalm 73:23-28 ESV)
For more context, read all of Psalm 73...I just pasted the last part of it. How beautiful is this picture?! He guides us with His counsel and holds our right hand. I love the picture of our Father in heaven holding our right hand like a Dad holds his 3 year old's little hand. The child has no idea where the Father is leading him, but he doesn't really care, does he? What he cares about is the fact that he's being held by his Dad. There's a sense of overwhelming security in that sentence. He holds our right hand...He's leading us. And we rarely trust Him with that...doesn't that sound so strange? It's as if the 3 year old pulls his hand away and says, "Dad, are you SURE you want to go that way? Because I've been thinking about it, and this way seems more enjoyable." Paul uses a Greek word in Ephesians that means "poem" to describe who we are to God. We are his poem...so, once again, it'd be like a poem saying to its author, "I'm not sure you know what you're doing...Are you SURE that line is in Iambic Pentameter?" Or something like that.
"There is nothing on earth that I desire besides you." Nothing compares to Him. Most of us have probably said/sung something like that before. If you like David Crowder even a little bit, you've probably sung it many times..."There is no one like you, there has never ever been anyone like you." But what does that look like in our lives? If nothing compares to Him, then why do we idolize things? Why do I look in the mirror more times than I pray in a day? Why do I worry more than ask Him to grow me in faith (Phil. 4:6-7)? Why do I choose to watch an episode of How I Met Your Mother over reading about Him? It's because I can sing the words all I want but still not be changed. The truth is that we desire a LOT more things than God most of the time. But God has the power and the patience to help us change that little by little (and it doesn't happen overnight). Sanctification, homies! Tough word to understand...tough process to go through.
The sentence that gets me the most is this, "My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." We all fail...none of us is perfect. I may try REALLY hard to make you think I'm perfect, but I'm the farthest thing from it. I'm a whitewashed tomb full of unclean things (Matt. 23:27). But though I fall short, God is my strength. I think it's cool that the psalm writer says it this way. He says his flesh fails, but God is his portion. His heart fails, but God is the strength of his heart. God takes care of both of those shortcomings! He fills us to the point where we overflow! He is truly all we need.
Wow, God is good. My prayer is that God is speaking (now and continually) through His word straight to your heart these days. This passage really hit me yesterday, and I love those moments when all you can say is, "Wow." Being speechless isn't a bad thing...it's a good thing, actually. We talk too much (kind of like what I'm doing right now!). Psalm 46:10 says, "Be still, and know that I am God." Give Him a chance to speak to you. God is faithful.
Is there something in the above passage that speaks to you?
you hold my right hand.
You guide me with your counsel,
and afterward you will receive me to glory.
Whom have I in heaven but you?
And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
For behold, those who are far from you shall perish;
you put an end to everyone who is unfaithful to you.
But for me it is good to be near God;
I have made the Lord GOD my refuge,
that I may tell of all your works.
(Psalm 73:23-28 ESV)
For more context, read all of Psalm 73...I just pasted the last part of it. How beautiful is this picture?! He guides us with His counsel and holds our right hand. I love the picture of our Father in heaven holding our right hand like a Dad holds his 3 year old's little hand. The child has no idea where the Father is leading him, but he doesn't really care, does he? What he cares about is the fact that he's being held by his Dad. There's a sense of overwhelming security in that sentence. He holds our right hand...He's leading us. And we rarely trust Him with that...doesn't that sound so strange? It's as if the 3 year old pulls his hand away and says, "Dad, are you SURE you want to go that way? Because I've been thinking about it, and this way seems more enjoyable." Paul uses a Greek word in Ephesians that means "poem" to describe who we are to God. We are his poem...so, once again, it'd be like a poem saying to its author, "I'm not sure you know what you're doing...Are you SURE that line is in Iambic Pentameter?" Or something like that.
"There is nothing on earth that I desire besides you." Nothing compares to Him. Most of us have probably said/sung something like that before. If you like David Crowder even a little bit, you've probably sung it many times..."There is no one like you, there has never ever been anyone like you." But what does that look like in our lives? If nothing compares to Him, then why do we idolize things? Why do I look in the mirror more times than I pray in a day? Why do I worry more than ask Him to grow me in faith (Phil. 4:6-7)? Why do I choose to watch an episode of How I Met Your Mother over reading about Him? It's because I can sing the words all I want but still not be changed. The truth is that we desire a LOT more things than God most of the time. But God has the power and the patience to help us change that little by little (and it doesn't happen overnight). Sanctification, homies! Tough word to understand...tough process to go through.
The sentence that gets me the most is this, "My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." We all fail...none of us is perfect. I may try REALLY hard to make you think I'm perfect, but I'm the farthest thing from it. I'm a whitewashed tomb full of unclean things (Matt. 23:27). But though I fall short, God is my strength. I think it's cool that the psalm writer says it this way. He says his flesh fails, but God is his portion. His heart fails, but God is the strength of his heart. God takes care of both of those shortcomings! He fills us to the point where we overflow! He is truly all we need.
Wow, God is good. My prayer is that God is speaking (now and continually) through His word straight to your heart these days. This passage really hit me yesterday, and I love those moments when all you can say is, "Wow." Being speechless isn't a bad thing...it's a good thing, actually. We talk too much (kind of like what I'm doing right now!). Psalm 46:10 says, "Be still, and know that I am God." Give Him a chance to speak to you. God is faithful.
Is there something in the above passage that speaks to you?
Sunday, January 16, 2011
First Ever Blog Entry (and maybe the last, depending on how it goes)
Okay, so I've been pretty negative about blogs for a while now. My friend (you know who you are) has been bugging me for a while to get me to write one, but I've resisted until now. I've always seen blogs as a very potentially selfish thing, where the writer writes these amazing and life-altering things in order to impress people. I still think that goes on today, but the reason I've decided to do this is because I came to the conclusion that it doesn't have to be that way. I follow 2 blogs, and they've been extremely helpful in my personal walk with God and in my journey as a worship leader.
So I came to the conclusion that I will write so that God can use the words He gives me however He wants. If something I'm struggling with can encourage someone else, this blog is worth it. But if it turns into a Katie show, it will end. Katie shows never really end well...because God isn't glorified through them.
Anyway, so that is my pre-blog disclaimer, I guess. My prayer is that God will teach us (you as the reader and me as the writer) through this whole...blog...thing.
So I was driving to drop my best friend, Beka, off at her car after having lunch with some friends (Salmon Tempura Roll...mmm), and we were talking about how living in Brownwood has been a tough journey. She's lived here since graduating in May of 2008, and I've lived here since graduating in May of 2010. All of the sudden, I had this thought which came out as, "I'm tired of people leaving me." We talked about how living in Brownwood post-grad is tough because most of your college friends move away and begin exciting jobs and marriages and so on, and we are...still here. Homecoming kind of loses it's excitement when you're not the one coming home. It's more like Homestaying. The only thing exciting about it is that all of your long lost friends come into town.
I have these moments I affectionately call pity parties when I just want to feel sorry for myself and become overwhelmed with how lonely or frustrated I feel with the position in which God has me. Most of my college friends are gone, and I don't get to talk to them often at all, my roommate just got married and moved away, I've been called to a position in our church that I never thought I'd be in, and the list goes on (that's why it's called a pity party). So the question I finally get to is, "Why is everyone leaving me? And why do things have to change??" And the word "crap" is probably in there somewhere...I just really like that word. Oh, and by the way, they're not leaving ME...they're just leaving. Why do I have to make it about me so often? Yuck.
Well, God had an answer for me, and if you feel like you're in the same boat, He has an answer for you. While everything is changing around you, while your friends are moving on to the things God has for them, while loved ones are dying and jobs are ending, while nothing is stable, God is our stability. Can I say that again? Of course I can, it's my blog. :) GOD IS OUR STABILITY. He is ALWAYS there. He does not move away. He never leaves us...we leave Him. I don't think Isaiah 40 can ever be overused. Isaiah 40:28 says:
28Have you not known? Have you not heard?The LORD is(A) the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He does not faint or grow weary;
(B) his understanding is unsearchable.
God is everlasting, and He is enough. That is all I need to hear to be comforted. May we all find comfort in the fact that God is with us always, and may we share that with those around us who feel abandoned and alone.
So I came to the conclusion that I will write so that God can use the words He gives me however He wants. If something I'm struggling with can encourage someone else, this blog is worth it. But if it turns into a Katie show, it will end. Katie shows never really end well...because God isn't glorified through them.
Anyway, so that is my pre-blog disclaimer, I guess. My prayer is that God will teach us (you as the reader and me as the writer) through this whole...blog...thing.
So I was driving to drop my best friend, Beka, off at her car after having lunch with some friends (Salmon Tempura Roll...mmm), and we were talking about how living in Brownwood has been a tough journey. She's lived here since graduating in May of 2008, and I've lived here since graduating in May of 2010. All of the sudden, I had this thought which came out as, "I'm tired of people leaving me." We talked about how living in Brownwood post-grad is tough because most of your college friends move away and begin exciting jobs and marriages and so on, and we are...still here. Homecoming kind of loses it's excitement when you're not the one coming home. It's more like Homestaying. The only thing exciting about it is that all of your long lost friends come into town.
I have these moments I affectionately call pity parties when I just want to feel sorry for myself and become overwhelmed with how lonely or frustrated I feel with the position in which God has me. Most of my college friends are gone, and I don't get to talk to them often at all, my roommate just got married and moved away, I've been called to a position in our church that I never thought I'd be in, and the list goes on (that's why it's called a pity party). So the question I finally get to is, "Why is everyone leaving me? And why do things have to change??" And the word "crap" is probably in there somewhere...I just really like that word. Oh, and by the way, they're not leaving ME...they're just leaving. Why do I have to make it about me so often? Yuck.
Well, God had an answer for me, and if you feel like you're in the same boat, He has an answer for you. While everything is changing around you, while your friends are moving on to the things God has for them, while loved ones are dying and jobs are ending, while nothing is stable, God is our stability. Can I say that again? Of course I can, it's my blog. :) GOD IS OUR STABILITY. He is ALWAYS there. He does not move away. He never leaves us...we leave Him. I don't think Isaiah 40 can ever be overused. Isaiah 40:28 says:
28Have you not known? Have you not heard?The LORD is(A) the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He does not faint or grow weary;
(B) his understanding is unsearchable.
God is everlasting, and He is enough. That is all I need to hear to be comforted. May we all find comfort in the fact that God is with us always, and may we share that with those around us who feel abandoned and alone.
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